Meet Mom

As we started writing down the different sayings I’ve used over the years, I began to wonder: when did I develop this proverbial mindset—this way of naturally turning to old sayings and bits of wisdom to offer advice or make sense of everyday situations?

Then I remembered the many days I spent at both my grandmas’ and grandpas’ houses. I spent the most time with my mom’s mom—Grandma, as I called her. She had a flower shop behind her house. I’m sure it wouldn’t pass city regulations today, but when you bought your house in the 1930s, the rules were few and far between.

When I visited, Grandma would be in her flower shop, and I’d run back and forth between there and the house, where Grandpa sat in his recliner. Those summer days were long, and to entertain myself, I had long talks with both of them.

They shared stories from their lives—because that’s what people used to do before the internet or cable TV. And fortunately for me, they had a lot of stories to tell. Both of my grandfathers had fought in the World Wars. They never shared the darker sides—just the stories. And during those conversations, a new saying would almost always surface. I’d laugh the first time I heard it, then repeat it to myself over and over to commit it to memory.

Over the years, I’ve collected more of these little gems than I can count. And now, they seem to rise to the surface whenever I’m trying to explain something, offer advice, or bring clarity to a situation. That’s the heart of this proverbial mindset—it’s how I see and speak about the world.

I was lucky enough to finish college while my girls were still in school themselves. I say "lucky enough" because, well, with what I would have learned back in the day, I would have only understood their work up to about sixth grade — and nowadays, probably just second grade! Our human understanding of so many aspects of our world is moving at a blazing speed — more on that later.

While math, science, and critical thinking skills are important, real success today requires something more: a new mindset.

Our understanding of how mindset shapes success comes largely from Carol Dweck’s work on Mindset Theory. She explores how we handle challenges, setbacks, and feedback, and how these responses shape our outcomes. Dweck distinguishes between two types of mindset: a fixed mindset and a growth mindset. Bear with me — it's worth it!

These mindsets center around our beliefs about ability, intelligence, personality, and how we respond to challenges and feedback:

• A fixed mindset believes that our abilities, intelligence, and personality are static — they can't be changed. With this mindset, we tend to avoid challenges, shy away from effort, and view feedback as criticism.

• A growth mindset, on the other hand, believes that ability and intelligence can be developed through effort, commitment, and learning. Challenges and setbacks are embraced as part of the learning process, and effort is seen as the pathway to improvement.

A growth mindset leads to higher achievement because it encourages persistence, adaptability, and resilience. These qualities — persistence, adaptability, and resilience — are core themes you'll see woven throughout many of the sayings and lessons I’ll be sharing here on the blog. In this mindset, there’s no such thing as failure — only moments to reset and try again.

People with a growth mindset don't say, "I failed." They say, "I can't do that yet!" and keep going. In our house, we always believed in "If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again!"

Yes!! Through the eyes of my personal experiences — raising my two girls, interacting with their peers and teachers, volunteering in many of their classrooms, and working as a substitute teacher for over twelve years — I have seen a lot of childhood behaviors.

And just so you know, they are mimicking everything you say and do at home: "the good, the bad, and the ugly" (yet another example of my constant love for idioms!). This particular saying covers the positive, the negative, and all the complicated parts of human behavior — and it reminds us that we can carry all these traits at the same time (thank you, theidioms.com).

My rule at home was simple but powerful: I would not do anything I didn’t want my children to do. My guiding thought was always, If this behavior wouldn’t serve my child well when they are out in the world, it doesn’t belong in our home.

I'll be honest — at first, correcting bad habits is hard, and it takes time and patience. But doing the work is one of the greatest gifts you can give your children. It not only shapes the family you live in today but builds the kind of adults who will bless the world tomorrow.

Positive behaviors teach children how to "use their words" to express what they need and want with confidence and kindness — and that is a gift that keeps on giving, long after they leave your arms.

You’ll find this message — the importance of example, effort, and love — woven into many of the sayings and lessons I’ll be sharing here. These simple truths, learned and lived, can shape a lifetime.

How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time.

Thinking back, one of the most important pieces of advice I ever received — or maybe it’s better to say, one I chose to accept — came from a book by Dr. James Dobson. He shared a simple but powerful idea: Focus on continually releasing small amounts of responsibility to your children over time.

Instead of trying to teach everything at once (and feeling completely overwhelmed), we teach little by little, moment by moment. It takes the stress off. It gives room for real growth — for them and for us.

I began to ask myself regularly, "Am I doing the next best thing?" And truthfully, that's all we really have to do. One next step at a time.

Along the way, I would also think, "What part of this responsibility can I turn over today?" Sometimes it was something small — almost too small to notice — but those small releases added up.

Just reminding myself that my job was not just to protect or correct, but to teach and then release, changed my whole mindset. It made the journey feel lighter and gave my girls the space they needed to grow strong and confident.

This idea of steady, intentional teaching and letting go is a theme you’ll find throughout many of the sayings and lessons I share here. Small steps. Big impact. Always forward, together.

The advice I shared above about gradually releasing responsibility is absolutely essential when it comes to navigating disagreements with our children.

You’ll find that many arguments, at their root, are really about responsibility — specifically, whether we believe our children are ready to handle it. Most disagreements come down to this simple question: Are they able to respond to the situation appropriately?

I always told myself, "Pick your battles." I’m sure you’ve heard that advice too, but it’s worth repeating — and really living by.

One thing that helped me was practicing this principle on smaller, everyday issues. It might not seem like a big deal at first, but handling the little things thoughtfully prepares both you and your child for the bigger storms later on. Like anything else, "practice makes perfect."

And one more important note: when disagreements arise, we have to be honest with ourselves. We need to really look at both sides — our expectations and their capabilities — to make sure we are giving full credit to our children. Not too much credit, but full and fair credit for what they are ready to handle.

Adopting this mindset made a world of difference for me. It allowed for more trust, less arguing, and a lot more peace in our home — and you’ll see that theme reflected in many of the sayings and stories I share here: responsibility, trust, and grace, growing side by side.